i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
