well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
