Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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