Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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