good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
