Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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