yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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