You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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