it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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