I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
