Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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