oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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