ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
