ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You're a waste of cheezeits
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize