I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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