wakey wakey hands off snakey
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize