I need help removing her.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
