I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
