Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
