It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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