I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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