Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
