need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize