I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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