oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
