apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How external is "for external use only"?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
