if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
