...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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