you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
