dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
