I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
