he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
