you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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