Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My liver just had a heart attack.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
