He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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