its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
