he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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