Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
