How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you inspire me to be a worse person
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
