Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
