And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
they need to just BURY HIM!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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