summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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