I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
