Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
