Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
