Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
