how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
