Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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