Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
