I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
