i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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