How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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