margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
