Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Are my feet made of real feet?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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