it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Houston, we have a squirter
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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