i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize