His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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