Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize