In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
