She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
