I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
