Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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