Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize