You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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