I'll bet she douches with gravy.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize