ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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