Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
