I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
