its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
