i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
