You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
