the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
