you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
