Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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