OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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