just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
