Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
