it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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