are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
